July 30, 2003 11:30 PM cuter than chris carrabba
I told my parents I was going to spend the night at Liz's house and that we were going to Water World with all the guards. I actually just spent the night at Elijah's. It's pretty great because he leaves me notes for when I wake up. I've never felt so loved in my life, and I love that he loves to hold me.
I've been meaning to write an entry about his room. I feel like I've warped back to the 70's, and it's so cool. He has beads over his door, and I love them. When I first saw his room, that was the part I remembered the most. And he has a cool squigly cloth thing and a cloth with eyes on it. The eyes are kinda crazy, but when I look at them I think of his eyes. I think his eyes are very wise. And I think that he is very wise. And he has a futon for a bed with a fur on it. I don't like plain furs 'cause it's kinda gross to think about, but it's soo soft. The hairs get on us when we are making love though. That part sucks. And he has this crazy retro yellow sitting chair that I like too. And his closet is so cool because it's filled with wonderful clothes. Clothes I've always wanted a boy to wear. And the pics on his closet door are cool too. I can't believe how hot he is. I don't ever want this feeling to fade. I know our love is perfect right now (except for that dumb Drew thing that happened. I'm planning on that being the only dumb thing that I do to him. I don't ever want to see him hurt or angry like that again. it makes my heart sink just thinking about it.). I'm ready to love. I keep remember a few days ago when I was standing on this log in his backyard and looking into his eyes (as much as you can when you're in the dark) and I told him that I could never ever get any closer to him though I want to. mmmm, I think I told him that as close as I feel to him when he's inside me, it's never close enough. and he told me that that was beautiful and that no one's ever told him that before.
Being with him is surreal. There have been people everywhere almost every day that I've known him so far. Sometimes we make love in the bathroom and it is unreal. I can hear the people everywhere outside the door, and the radio is right by the door. It's been playing Ziggy Marley, other reggae, Lenny Kravitz (the good stuff) and random 70's music. I feel like I'm somewhere else when it happens. And I can't stop looking at his face. He's amazingly beautiful. I want to tell him, but I don't want to sound dumb. And the sex is good. I can remember sex with other people, and I never came. But I do everytime with him, sometimes even more than once. And it's almost always at the same time. it's pretty crazy. And I want to do him all the time. It's pretty great, 'cause, unlike Ari, he likes to have sex more than twice a week and only when he wants it. Sex actually means something now. I never thought it was even possible.